Joke of the Day One day, a baby camel and its father had a conversation.

One day, a baby camel and its father had a conversation.

Baby Camel: Dad, why do we have humps on our backs?

Father Camel: Well, son, our humps contain the fat necessary to sustain us though all the days when we're out in the desert.

Baby Camel: Oh, okay. Dad, why do we have long eyelashes?

Father Camel: They're to protect our eyes from the sandstorms which rage in the desert.

Baby Camel: I get it now. Dad, why do we have big padded feet?

Father Camel: Because the sand in the desert is very soft and we need big feet so that we can walk on the sand without sinking.

Baby Camel: Thanks, Dad. So what are we doing in London Zoo?

Joke of the Day A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said,

A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much."

The twenty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"

The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff... church, church, church."

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Software engineer and his wife .. (FUNNY)

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.

Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.

Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters..

Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.

Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.

Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.

Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer

Girls ke top 10 Jhoot.jpg

This particular joke won the award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain and it was sent by an Indian...

This particular joke won the award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain and it was sent by an Indian...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks.
"Someone has stolen our tent".

DOES YOUR COMPANY HAVE A PROBLEM IN RECRUITING THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE RIGHT CHAIR? IF YES, TRY OUT THIS SIMPLE EXPERIMENT.

DOES YOUR COMPANY HAVE A PROBLEM IN RECRUITING THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE RIGHT CHAIR? IF YES, TRY OUT THIS SIMPLE EXPERIMENT.

Put around 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2-3 candidates into the room and close it from outside. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours, and then analyze the situation.

If they are counting and recounting the number of bricks - PUT THEM IN ACCOUNTS DEPT.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks - PUT THEM IN THE ENGG DEPT.

If they are arranging the bricks in some other order - PUT THEM IN PLANNING.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other - PUT THEM IN OPERATION.

If they are sleeping - PUT THEM IN SECURITY.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces - PUT THEM IN INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY.

If they are staring out of the window - PUT THEM IN EXPORT CELL.

If they are sitting idle - PUT THEM IN HRD.

If they have thrown the bricks out of the windows - PUT THEM IN MATERIALS DEPT.

If they are clinging onto the bricks - PUT THEM IN TREASURY.

If they are talking to each other and not a brick has moved - PUT THEM IN TOP MANAGEMENT CELL.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick as moved - PUT THEM IN SALES.

If they have already left for the day - PUT THEM IN MARKETING.

A little boy wanted Rs.50 (Joke)

A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.

Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the Rs.50.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, Pakistani Government, they decided to forward

It to the President of the Pakistani Government as a joke.

The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20.

The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money (Rs.50) to a little boy,

And he did not want to spoil the kid.

The little boy was delighted with Rs...20, and decided to write a thank you note to God,

Which read:

"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money.

However, I noticed that you sent it through the Mr. Asif Ali Zardari (President House) in Belawal House, and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 as tax ....... " 

Mian sahib wanted to raise money for his party, Joke

Mian sahib wanted to raise money for his party, 

and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. 

However at the local auction, 

the going price for a horse was very high so he ended up buying a donkey instead. 

He figured that since he had it he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, 

the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper said: "MIAN'S ASS SHINES" Mian sahib was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, 

and this time it won. 

The paper read: "MIAN'S ASS OUT IN FRONT" His wife was so upset with this kind of publicity that she ordered Mian sahib not to enter the donkey in another race. 

The paper headline read: "WIFE SCRATCHES MIAN'S ASS" This was too much for Mrs. Mian. 

So she ordered Mian sahib to get rid of the donkey. Mian s ahib decided to give it to Benazir.

 The paper headline the next day read: "BENAZIR TAKES MIAN'S ASS" Followed by another on the next day: "NOW BENAZIR HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN" All the opposition leaders got very upset at this kind of publicity.They informed Benazir that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for Rs.500.Next day the headline read: "BENAZIR SELLS HER ASS FOR Rs.500" This was too much for the veteran opposition leader, Nawabzada Nasrullah Khan, so he ordered Benazir to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains where it could run wild and free. Next day, the headline in the paper read: "BENAZIR ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE" 

Joke Of The Day

Dear All !

   This Is A Li'll Joke Hope So U Like it !

 

One Day

God asked Allama Iqbal how many children he had during his time on earth.

He replied saying he had three!

Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God gave Iqbal a Mercedes!

Liaqat Ali is asked the same question.

When he replies he had 10 children, God is a bit upset and gives him a cheaper car, the Ford.

 

Sir sayed is next. He decides to see what happens if he says he had 15 children.

God is pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Suzuki Mehran.

 

Sometime later the three saw Quaid-e-Azam returning on foot.

They ask why God hadn't given him anything.

Jinnah replied with anger, "Some idiot told God that I was father of the nation!!!" 

2 girls talking on the phone

2 girls talking on the phone

 

 

 

Hello, kesi ho tum ?" Bari meethi si awaz aai,,
"itni der laga di tum nay, main kab say bethi tumharey phone ka intizaar ker rahi thii"
"haan baas zara ammi ki tabiyat theek nahin thii,is liye khana bananay main zara der ho gai.. "waisay tum kia ker rahi theen.?"
main .....main to shahrukh khan ki nai film "main hoon na " jo aaj hi release hui hay woh dekh rahi thii.
ohhhh.! acha film release hogai main aaj hi is ki CD mangwati hoon, pata hay meray mamo jaan aj mere liye new CD player bhej rahey hain ..
"ye to achi baat hay "
"acha aur kia haal hay tumhara "
"bus main thorii sii thhak gai hoon ajj!"
"kiyun kahan kahan gayee thein ?
" bas zara Ammi kay sath bazar gayee thii. poorii garmioo ki shopping ker dali.
"acha suno! jis kaam kay liye tumhay phone kia tujhe wo to bhool hi gai. agar yasmeen say baat ho to us ko kehna k woh apni jorjat ki kameez bhijwa day. mujhay wesi hi banwani hay.
"kon yasmin kon si kameez"?
"kia matlub kon yasmeen? wo jo F.A main hamaray sath perhti thee.
"laekin Uzma hum to matric kay baad school gaye hi nahi aur kon si saheli yasmeen.
aryy bahi kon uzma! main to samreen hoon aur kia tum Shaheen nahi hoo?
shaheen. ....? nahi to ..... main to saira hoon"...
kia ye 760269 nahi hay ......?
sorry wrong number......!!!
hehehehehehe

The problems with GUYS & Girls

Girls with Attitude!

Is this what Girls think about Boys??? 

If u treat her nice she says "yaar mujhe line de raha hai"  

If u dont she says "kitna akarta hai"  

If u dress nicely she says"mujhay impress karna chata hai"  

If u dont she says "tasteless hai yaar"  

If u argue with her she says"ziddi hai"  

If u sit quietly she says"dumb hai"  

If u act smarter "she'll lose her brain and say u r insulting her"  

If she acts smarter "she think its her right"  

If u dont love her she says "is ka to pehlay say hi 2,3 larkioon k saath chakar hai"    

If u love her she says"peechay hi par gaya hai"  

If u dont give her a kiss she says" tum mujh say serious naheen ho"  

If u give her a kiss she says" sab ko line deta hoga"  

If u r skinny she says "u shud have appropriate mass at appropriate places"  

If u r healthy she says "u shud b smart"  

If u dont tell her ur problems she says" ur not honest with me"  

If u do tell to her she says "ur a problem child"  

If u scold her she says "you act like a nanny giving lectures"  

If she scolds u she says "Yaar, its becoz I care"  

If u break a promise she says "she does not trust u any more"  

If she breaks she says "jan mein majbour thi"  

If u do good in exams she says "qismat ne saath diya warna tum or good marks"  

If she gets goods mark she says"" its my brain"  

If u hurt her she says "u r cruel & dont care for my feelings"  

If she hurts you she replies "u r not understanding"  

& they claim the (girls) r not Hypocrates??!!!  

The problems with GUYS: 

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him; 

If u Don't, he says u are PROUD. 

If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him; 

If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG. 

If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN; 

If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS. 

If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE; 

If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.

If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u; 

If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?) 

If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him; 

If u do!! he says u are CHEAP. 

If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME; 

If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him. 

If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him; 

If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u. 

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED; 

If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so. 

If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl; 

If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMENT. 

If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK; 

If he does WELL, it's BRAINS. 

If u HURT him, u are CRUEL; 

If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!! 

& sooo hard to please!!!!! 

If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true....... 

but if u don't, they say u are selfish..... 

The moral of the story is.......SEND THIS TO GUYS OUT THERE ANYWAY... Send it to girls also, gives them some laughter 

Tips My Friends Who Are...........SINGLE

       Tips
1.To My Friends Who Are...........SINGLE

Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it. Love can make you happy but often it hurts, but love's only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it. So take your time and choose the best. 
2.To My Friends Who Are.............NOT SO SINGLE

Love isn't about becoming somebody else's "perfect person." It's about finding someone become the best person you can be. 
3.To My Friends Who Are............PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE
Never say "I love you"

when all you do is lie. The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall and it works both ways... 4.To My Friends Who Are............MARRIED
No Suggesions
5.To My Friends Who Are............ENGAGED

The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other. 
6.To My Friends Who Are.............HEARTBROKEN

Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive Heartbreaks but to learn from them .

7.To My Friends Who Are.............NAIVE

How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep the pain. 
8.To My Friends Who Are............POSSESSIVE

It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you. 
9.To My Friends Who Are............AFRAID TO CONFESS

Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.  

10.To My Friends Who Are............STILL HOLDING ON

A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it. If he isn't worth it now he's not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now. Let go..... 11.TO ALL MY FRIENDS.......

My wish for you is a man/women whose love is honest, strong, mature, never-changing, uplifting, protective, encouraging, rewarding and unselfish. ANYWAY I WISH U ALL A GOODLUCK

Types of Girlz.

That mail specially designed 4 the those ppls

Who don’t have GIRL FRIENDS

is Just a Few steps of Making Girl friends

Bhaiyou fiker not Hum hain Tu Kia Ghum Hain

 Girl friend kis tera banatay hain yeh hum ko abi bata tay hain uss say pelay

app koo lardkion ke nature kay baray main bata dain thoda sa

  TYPES OF GIRLS 

These emotions describe some kinds of GALS, hehehe.

There are many types of Girls is giving below

1. NAKHRAY WALIYA is type ke lardkion buhat mushkil say phassti hain

but jab set hoo jati hain to peecha nahi chorti

2. BAAD DEEMAGH aisi lardkiya IZATH nahi kerti

so plz stay out of these types of GIRLS

3. INNOCENT matlab MASOOM aisi lardkiya buhat achi hoti hain

mujhay bhi aisi lardkiya buhat pasand hain

but yeh direct SHADI ka boolti hain

4. NAKAAB wali lardkiya matlab NINJA lardkiya inn ka mujhay nahi pata

becoz app inay paichaan nahi sakhtay or in ko chairiye ga bhi nahi

kabi nakaab main hoti hain kabi nakaab say bahaar hoti hain

yeh ek tarhan say RISK hay love life main RISK nahi

5. TAARRO Lardkiya is type ke lardkiya buhat khercha kerwati hain or

set bhi nahi hoti

6. CHULBULI lardkiya yeh buhat maslay kerwati hain in ke waja say

buhat barray barray maslay hotay hain

yeh pangay kertin hain or bhogutna lardkoo ko perta hay

7. CHUP GHUNI lardkiya is type ke lardkiya kabi nahi boolti

kay woh app say piyarr kertin hain ya app ko pasand kerti hain

to is type ke lardki ko set kernay kay liye pelay

inn ke dost ko set keraiin phir inn ke dost say inn kay baray main poochay.

8. OVER CONFIDENT kasam say iss type ke lardkiyou say to buhat he door rahain

kyun kay ek daffa main bhi mertay meraty bacha hon kasam say

yeh buhat lambi kahani hay issay choriye

9. NEECHAY DAIKH KAY CHALNAY WALI innay kam nahi sumjay

yeh neechay daikh kay to chalti hain but pata sab hota hay

 kon lardka kaha kherra hay kon kia ker raha hay

kon meray chaker main kerra hay kon

mujhay dikha nay kay liye cricket khel raha hay

kon mujhay daikh kay MOBILE pay baat ker raha hay

kon upnay lumbay lumbay baalon ko theeq ker raha hay

daikha sab pata hota hay innay

10. RAATH MAIN WALK KERNAY WALI is type ke lardkiya DIETING kertin matlab

SLIM hona chahti hain but jab K F C ya MC DONALD jati hain

to tooba kitna khaati hain kay app ke Poket khali hoo jaey

but unn ka pait nahi bharta pata nahi pait hay ya LALO KHAIT hay.

 SETTING

ABB HUM APP KO SET KERNAY KA TERIKA BATATAY HAIN

BILKUL WAISAY HE JAISAY PTV 3 MAIN FISHES PAALANAY KA

TERIKA BATATAY HAIN

TEN TIPS OF SETTING

upper dee gaey lardkion main say koie ek select kerain or poori imaandari kay saath

sirf ek select kerain waisay mujhay pata hay kay app ek select nahi kerain gay

 kyun kay main nay bhi ek select nahi keri main jaanta hon lardkoo ke nature koo

any ways yeh tips main say nahi hain yeh precutions hain ABB STEP

1. Agar woh Nakhray wali hay tu too app ZIDI banay

2. Bad deemagh hay to app IZZAT daar na banay

kyun kay yeh izzat nahi kerti app bhi bigra wa SHOW kerain

kay khulay paiso nay app ko bigarr dia

3. Innocent hay to app bhi Masoon banay woh alag baat hay

kay bachay app ke shakal daikh kay bhaag jatay hain

ussay dikhanay kay liye Raath main walk kerain

woh bhi sunsaan jaga but yaad rahay mobile app ke jaib main na ho

becoz moblie buhat chin rahay hain, mera bhi aisay he china tha

4. Nakaab wali hay tu pelay us ka chera daikh lain

kahiin aisa na ho kay app uss kay chaker main uss ke Maa koo chairr dain

 jaisay kay hum nay pelay he kaha hay kay Nakaab wali ko set kerna risk hay

5. Tarro hay too app Sir Jhoka kay chalain but yaad rahay

app ke AANKh bilkul uss lardki ke tera chalay jo sir jhokha kay chalti hay

6. Chulbuli hay to app decent banay Jo kay app nahi hain

7. Chup Ghunni hay to app uss kay saamnay woh gana gaye KUCH TO KAHOO

8. Over Confident hay to meri manay to inn say dhoor he rahay

 kyun kay yeh IZZAT kernay main time nahi lagati

daikhti he nahi hain kay bazaar hay ya road hay

bas IZZAT ker daiti hain so plz stay out of this girl

or dil chota na kerain app koi or see set ker lay

yaha buhat saari varieties dastiyaab hain

9. Neechay daikh kay chal nay wali hay to

app uss kay saam nay kherray hoo jaey

or Achanak say takker hogi or gana gana 

PHIR SE TAKRAO EK BAR, MAIN HOON NA

10. Raath main walk kernay wali lardkiya yeh bhi thodi buhat TARRO lardkiyo jaisi

hoti hain in kay saam nay app bhi walk kerain or mobile pay baat kerain or yaad

rahay kay app ka mobile band rahay kahiin us kay saamnay call aagey to saray

impression ke waaat lag jaeygi or InDirectly Comments pass kerain or idher udher

daikh na na bhoolay yeh APP ke SEHAT kay liye acha hay werna kahiin us ka bhai

ya uss ABBA yani kay poorani cassete yeah phir is tera bool lain kay poorani

HAWAILI baqi app khud sumaj daar hain waisay kuch naya nahi hoga wohi hoga

jo her daffa hota hay lardki ko chairr nay pay....

---

COLGATE SE DAANT SAAF KARNE KA

COLGATE SE DAANT SAAF KARNE KA

COLGATE SE DAANT SAAF KARNE KA,
PEPSODENT SE MAJBOOT KARNE KA,
BABUL SE FRESH KARNE KA,
AGAR PHIR BHI SAAF NA HUYE TO
























BINDAS HARPIC USE KARNE KA

The History of the Middle Finger

The History of the Middle Finger 

Well, now......here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified.  Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?  

  

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.  Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future.  This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew"). 

  

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!  Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!  It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird." 

  

IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY! 

And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing.

Too much....

Too much....

A Russian, a Frenchman, and a Canadian walk into a bar.

The Russian asks the bartender for vodka, so he gives him an entire bottle. The Russian pours out a shot, drinks it, and throws the rest of the bottle into the air and shoots it.

The bartender asks, "What did you do that for?" and the Russian replies, "In my country, we have too much vodka."

The bartender shakes his head and turns to the Frenchman, who orders wine.

The Frenchman pours a glass, drinks it, then throws the rest of the bottle in the air and shoots it to smithereens. "In my country," he says, "we have too much wine."

the bartender his head again, and turns hesitantly the canadian to ask him what he would like.

The Canadian orders a beer, drinks the whole bottle in one go, then pulls out his gun and shoots the Frenchman. "In my country," he says, "we have too many Frenchmen."

The Sweet Joke of the Day

The Sweet Joke of the Day 

============ ========

A blonde mother runs her own daycare business. She has two of her own kids and has about 15 kids in her daycare. One day the blonde takes the children to the park to play, when a brunette walks up and notices the blonde and her daycare kids.

She goes to the blonde and asks her, "Are all these kids yours?"

The blonde replies, "No, I have two of my own."

The brunette proceeds to ask which two are the blonde's.

The blonde laughs and says. "My kids go to the YMCA daycare center."

The brunette asks in a puzzled voice, "Why are they there when you run your own daycare?"

The blonde looks at her and says, "Because I can't afford what I charge."